She Finally Said My Name

Who said my Name? It was a longtime and I mean longtime friend of my partner. They have known each other since junior high school, and they are 71 years old. What so significant about her calling me “Stephie,” that’s right “Stephie.” Well this woman is pretty much a Christian fundamentalist. Believes Genesis to be the truth, and so and so.

Some back story. I first came out to her after I got my ears pierced in late fall 2019 about 5 months after I started to transition. I had not yet started to present as a woman fulltime. It needed to be done because she had been taking both my partner and I to various doctors’ appointments, and knowing I would soon be presenting full time. And, we needed to know if she would continue taking us to our appointments, especially mine, as it was pretty certain that she would continue to take my partner to hers, but not actually sure if I would be included.

We decided to take her to lunch at a Chinese buffet. I waited to tell her until after we ate. When we were done eating, I asked her, “if she notice my earrings?” She said that she did. I then said, “you are probably wonder why?” She indicated yes. I then told her “that is because I am a transgender woman.”† Things are rather vague now on how she initially responded.

But I do remember her quoting Genesis about god creating them male and female. I am guessing she was assuming that that quote would prove there are no transgender people. First, if this is literally true, and most fundamentalist believe it, it would indicate that god created an androgynous person. Was the first human being an intersex person? It doesn’t really matter because I believe the Bible is false through and through besides a few Israelite kings. Secondly, okay so let’s assume it is true. I was a female from birth probably etched in my DNA or douse by feminine hormones during my brain development.‡ It wasn’t my fault the doctor mark male on my birth certificate, which is consider to be equated with gender, even though it says sex. Sex and gender are two different things, most often they do go together, but not for transgender individuals, and not for me.

So, it was established she would still have me ride along to my partner’s appointments, and take me to mine as well. But, when I told her my name she flat out refused to call me “Stephie.” I guess she feels that it draws a line in the sand, that she doesn’t really accept my transgender status.

Fast forward to last summer. She was to take us furniture shopping. My partner went down first and had a conversation about using Stephie. Again, she refused. When she first refused I thought it disrespectful. But, now I felt it was highly disrespectful. It totally denies who I am. Or, that is what it seems.

Well today (12/6/21) she came up to our apartment to see our Christmas trees after a dentist appointment she took my partner to. I was absolutely floored (although I did not show it) when she said, ‘hello Stephie.” I can’t believe it was a slip. My partner consistently calls me “Stephie,” when I come up in their conversations, so I guess that is a possibility. The second time she called me by my birthname. It is my feeling that that was the slipup. If she decided to call me “Stephie” it will take time for her to be consistent. It took my partner awhile to start calling me “Stephie,” and even longer to be consistent, and still to this day will slipup herself occasionally .

Whatever is the case I will take this as a sign that my partner’s friend has had a change of heart. Something, if true I find highly significant. But probably not a change of mind. It doesn’t matter; she can have all the private beliefs about me she wants. All I demand is being treated respectful. It would actually be the Christian thing to do. Maybe, she finally realized it.

† This was my usual why of coming out. I used it for practically everyone besides my partner. You can find that story in several of my posts.

‡ These are the most popular theories, which have scientific research to back them up. I am not sure this amount of evidence amounts to a proof. More research is needed. There are some social theories. Some of them by postmodernist theorist. These are bound to be wrong. It is most likely that there might be needed some trigger in the environment, like many genetic conditions.

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