The first thing to say is I am polyamorous. This is I am openly poly. And this means I am attracted to multiple romantic partners, which I express openly before becoming involved. I do have a primary partner, and that is my long time girlfriend of over 30 years. She comes first in everything. I am not looking to replace her with any other relationship I might form with others. But, here’s the deal—I am a translesbian, which for me means I am only sexually attracted to other transwoman, or those who fall within the femme part of the transgender umbrella.†
So, I had my first date with another transwoman. First, it is difficult to find date, even harder to find one if your a transwoman, even harder if your a translesbian, even harder if you restrict it to other transwoman.
I had been working on getting a date for almost a year. In that time I have met some wonderful online gurlfriends. But, distance will probably always keep us apart. In the early part of October last year I got a message on one of the trans social sites I am a member of from a gurl‡ near Philadelphia. I answered, and we started to chat. She respected all my boundaries, and I felt she loved me for who I was, not who she wanted me to be, like some other gurls I have met online.
After awhile we began to chat about meeting up. She said she was willing to drive down to see me for a day long date. After some more chatting and having feelings of closeness to her,º and after we talked on the phone I was willing to meet up with her. Generally, i would be looking for a public meeting like coffee, but because of the distance she had to travel more than a public meetup was planned. Of course, I would have to be completely comfortable with her to actually be alone in private with her. So, we started out in a public setting.
We met in the lobby of the hotel she reserved a room in. I was seated when she came into the lobby. As she approach I stood up and gave her a kiss on the cheek, The first thing she said was Stephie your beautiful. I did not have a wig on, but was fully made up and covered my head with a knit mauve cap with a visor. It was cold so I was wearing leggings and a hoodie.
The first thing we had planned was to go to the mall across the street and shop. I had already felt comfortable enough with her to drive over in her car. When we got to the car she said she had something to give me and handed me a box from the Piercing Pagoda. I opened it up and there was a lovely anklet in it. I had been chatting about getting one with her online. At the mall we checked out the Macy’s cosmetic counters. She was a little hungry from her drive so we stopped at a pretzel place. On the way we check out a shoe store. After she ate her pretzel we went to Victoria Secret. The things I like there were way out of my league. So, it ended up being a window shopping event. But I still had a nice time at the mall.
After we did the mall thing we went back to the hotel and had lunch in the restaurant there. It was a nice lunch. We lingered for awhile over coffee. I was having a lovely time and felt very comfortable with her, so I decided to do some private time with her.’
So, we went up to her room—I don’t kiss and tell, sorry.
At the end of the date she drove me back to my girlfriend’s‡ place. Before I got out of the car I kissed her on the cheek once again.
† I prefer this term over transgender spectrum that I have heard used before. This is because of those persons who do not identify toward either pole. And it also makes know one an end point or the center.
‡ She was not a full-time gurl, but she was all gurl when she was with me.
º Not the same type of deep love I have toward my girlfriend.
‡ She knew about the date, and even acted as my safe person. She knew what she looked by a picture of her in guy mode and the itinerary we had planned. I even called her after we ate lunch, and I told her when to expect me home.