Okay, so I have been coming out to various people, starting this last spring with my girlfriend. In the summer I came out to my therapist. Then, some of my medical providers. In October I came out at program. Over the holidays I came out to my family, and I have gradually been revealing my trans status to the neighbors.
Yesterday I came out again. But, what made this so different than my other reveals? The big difference was I came out to a Bible believing Christian. She is the girlfriend of my girlfriend going back to when they were both in the 9th grade. My biggest concern was whether it would negatively affect my girlfriend’s relationship with her. As for myself I felt that I could handle the rejection. It would have been the first, but I am much stronger then when I first started to transition, and all my previous reveals I had considered safe.
Why was it even necessary to come out to her? She has been given us rides to both of our doctor’s appointments since 2016 when I was dealing with a stomach mass, which thankfully ended up being benign. The precipitating event was my getting my ears pierced two weeks ago (for a bit on this event see – Yeah! I Got My Ears Pierced Today). The starter earrings need to stay in for 6 weeks, so there would be no hiding it the next time I was riding with her.
Earlier this week my girlfriend told her I wanted to tell her something, and that we wanted to take her out to lunch. This was yesterday; we went to a local restaurant easy to make our way home in case it went badly. We had finished lunch, and I asked her if she was curious about what I wanted to tell her. She nodded her head yes. I let my intuition take over and used my usual phrase – “I am a transgender woman.” She said something like okay, and I confirmed she knew what being transgender was.
Well, she accepted that I felt I was a woman, and that it would not affect our relationship. So, the task was done. But, the acceptance wasn’t really real. She made the statement that god made us male and female. This implied that while I felt myself to be a woman I really wasn’t. I felt it would do no good telling her why it was either not true or did not apply.†
The end result is that she is still going to be giving us rides, and that she can expect seeing me in more womanly attire, rather than the unisex dressing she was used to. I had told her I dress modestly and wear wigs. She us even taking us to my hand surgeon appointment on the 30th.
† The first problem with this statement is I don’t believe there is a god. But, even were a god and is depicted in the Bible, the Bible never states that it is talking about biological sex (most likely) or in terms of gender identity. In the first case one can be biologically one sex and identify as the opposite gender. In the second it would not matter what your biological sex was. But in both cases it is wrong. With biological sex it is untrue because intersex is a biological reality. They exist. With gender identity there are those who are non-binary, genderfluid, or genderqueer.