I’m a transgender woman as the tagline of my blog states. I am pre-op and also am not yet on feminizing hormones (hrt). So, yes I have a boy thing between my legs. I call it my clitty. Okay, go ahead and ask: If you are a woman surely you are in the wrong body? You should have a female body.
Well, not so fast.
I was born in this body. I grew up in this body. This body is mine, and no one else’s. Here is something you may not of thought of either. My brain is part of my body; it is just as physical as the rest of my body. I believe the mind, which we use to talk about our thoughts, feelings, desires, intentions, and beliefs as well as other intentional states† is just as physical as the rest of me. Though you might disagree, it is our brains that power all that we do from the physical to the conscious.
Now, if my brain is part of my body—the driving force—it is my brain that basically makes me a woman. My thoughts and feelings to me are those of a woman. I never think of myself as a man. I consider my primary male sex organ as an enlarged (quite a bit compared to a ciswoman’s) clitoris, playfully referred to as my clitty. So I already don’t think of my body as masculine, despite the evidence against this view of myself.
So, why do I seek hrt, if I am not in the wrong body? Doesn’t that change your body? Well, no and yes. Sure it changes my body. First it affects my hormone levels. In particularly it is my estrogen and testosterone levels. In my case I would be receiving feminizing hormone treatment. This will raise my estrogen level with estrogen administration, and my testosterone level would go down with the administration of an anti-androgen. The effects on my body would be breast development, redistribution of fat, loss of muscle mass, and less body hair are the major visible changes. Other physical changes could be: increase blood glucose and cholesterol levels. There maybe possible mood changes as well.
These are significant changes to my body. And I welcome most of them, obviously, or I would not wish to do hrt. But the changes it makes to my body and my innards are still happening to the body I have lived in for all my life. Why would changes to my body make me have a wrong body. If your obese and successfully loose a hundred pounds, it changes your body, but it is still the body you have had all along. If your body is being eaten by cancer, and you successfully beat it in to remission, was the cancer in you still not a part of your body, and is it not the same body now. What about ciswomen who get boob jobs? Were they in a wrong body. I think most of them would not think so. So why is making the changes with hrt any different. My body is mine and will be so until my dying days.
What about Gender Confirming Surgery‡ (GCS)? This is something pretty radical to do to your body (or have done to you). It is very invasive with a long and strenuous after care. Again though, it is the same body, just a switch in primary sex characteristics, switching them doesn’t mean I have the wrong body. Most everyone goes through puberty. Were they in the wrong body before puberty?
Before moving on I want to acknowledge those who feel and/or believe they are in the wrong body. I honor them. They need all the support they can get to help them deal with the feelings and thoughts they have about their bodies. These feelings and thoughts are real, and should not be belittle in anyway. In certain ways we choose our bodies, not the physical characteristics, but how we see it, and how we use it. And these are valid for each individual. The only exception to its use would be when we use it to create intentional harm to another.
So, I have a body. And it is not the wrong body. I still can’t see how it would be. I was born in it; and I have grown in it; and I have am living in it now. What about those feminizing treatments you want to do to your body? Doesn’t that make it a wrong body for you? Yes and no. I do want those changes, but these changes are to my body. It is just like any other change that occurs to your body. You go through puberty, which makes major changes to your body. You brain does not even fully develop until age 25 (at least that is a common figure given). You reach middle age, and your body gets a little flabby, or it is harder to keep the pounds off. Your reach old age, hopefully with your health in good shape. And, excuse me, you die, and you are no more, and the body you live in decays.
All these changes occur naturally. But we do other things to our bodies. You might get a tattoo, or piercing parts of your body, or you may keep your body shaved or permanently have your hair removed. There are other more drastic changes you can make. Well, maybe not drastic. But there are face lifts, breast enhancements or reductions, knee replacements, and other cosmetic procedures.
So, tell me why redoing your genitalia, or any other feminizing or masculanizing procedures are really any different than any other changes, natural or changes you make to your body. Okay, I will hopefully have those A-cup breasts I desire, and I might get to have my penis remove and get a vaginoplasty, and the other surgeries that enhance the natural look. These are changes I choose to do to my body, or may choose to do to my body. But, the body is still my body.
So, there you have it— I Do Not Have The Wrong Body—I have my body.
† Intentions are those components of the mind that are talk about in philosophy. Though you might not know it we use the intentional stance to figure out what other’s are up to. We even use it to figure out our pets, even though without language they are not capable of having intentions. They do think in whatever manner that is, and so act as if they did.
‡ My preferred term for SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery). Sex is technically a genetic phenomenon. So any surgery does not technically change your sex. There are genetic females who have male genitalia, and vice-a-versa. Plus to me it would be a confirming outcome. [Note – I have not in the least the present time (11/3/19) decided to do this type of surgery, but it will be of future consideration. Even if I ultimately choose not to it will never change the fact that I am a woman.]